When I look At You
by Z-Aquarius-Kai
Summary: Summary: 'Response to a Challenge' Laud, the veela's, thoughts as he visits  the grave of his love. All love stories do not have happy endings. Will Laud  be able to 'bloom again' or will he just give in? Give it a try!


**A/N: so, basically this one shot is a response to SkyeElf's challenge. Thus,**  
><strong>mostly nothing in this belongs to me. They all belong to JKR or SkyeElf or<strong>  
><strong>Roald Dahl (a quote at the end). If you have read Skye Night then maybe you<strong>  
><strong>should give it a try, if you haven't then never mind give it a try anyway!<strong>

Laud tried to block off the Christmas Carols that kept finding a way into his  
>ears. Everybody was so happy, so happy that it made him bitter. True,<br>Voldemort was gone but how could people forget all those who had died. All  
>those including his Lila. When Laud looked at people happy and whole the<br>yawning hole in his heart ached painfully. He got up decisively knowing where  
>he wanted to be at this moment.<br>He walked to the edge of Hogsmeade, where a little beyond the Shrieking Shack  
>was the Veela cemetery Skye, Draco and he had made in honour of all those who<br>had died. There hadn't been much to bury but it had been a gesture which he  
>had appreciated. Everytime he came here he was transported back all those<br>seven, eight years ago. The night when he had been the happiest in his life.  
><em>I was looking for a reason to ask her, true I had a reason but some reason to<em>  
><em>get her talking. God! I was such a bundle of nerves. I saw her stride past me,<em>  
><em>her wonderful green and gold tinged hair blowing slightly in the wind.<em>  
><em>"Lila, I-" I started but stopped as her dazzling smile hit me.<em>

_"Yes?"_

_"So, well, how have you been?" I mentally kicked myself. What a question to_  
><em>ask?<em>  
><em>"Good. Are you ok?"<em>  
><em>"Ye-es,"I replied, fidgeting slightly.<em>  
><em>She suddenly bent to the ground exclaiming, "Oh look! A Gurdpoppy."<em>  
><em>I looked at the three-petal-ed bright red flower in surprise. "You like<em>  
><em>them?"<em>  
><em>"I love them but they are so hard to find," she said.<em>  
><em>I laughed and dragged her along to my favourite place in the forest. It was<em>  
><em>the only place where the overhead canopies cleared to let in a little bit of<em>  
><em>sunshine and there grew millions and millions of Gurdpoppies. Lila stood there<em>  
><em>dumbstruck for a while and then whispered, as if not willing to break the<em>  
><em>heavenly silence there, "This is so beautiful."<em>  
><em>"And so are you," I said, aware of a pink tinge creeping up my face.<em>  
><em>She giggled, blushing, but didn't say anything, as if waiting for me to<em>  
><em>continue so, I took a deep breath and got down on my knee, "Lila, I love you.<em>  
><em>Will you please take my hand in marriage?"<em>  
><em>She opened and closed her mouth and then managed to say, "I should think<em>  
><em>there's no doubt about it." And before I knew I was kissing her passionately.<em>  
><em>In that instant I knew my whole life ahead: marriage…kids…hell! even the<em>  
><em>war couldn't spoil this moment.<em>  
>Laud touched his face in surprise. Funny how tears flow so easily! He was now<br>there, the clearing where her favourite flowers had once grown. How wrong he  
>had been! The war had spoilt it in fact spoilt was too small a word, the war<br>had destroyed it.  
>The empty, barren patch seemed to mock him. The snow seemed to grow stronger<br>and deeper as he walked through. Despair clung tightly to him. For the  
>millionth time his worst memory repeated itself in his mind.<br>_Screams slit the air as Death Eaters expressed their anger for our refusal to_  
><em>join them. Green light blinded me from every direction and before me died all<em>  
><em>those I had known, cared for and loved. I was dying, I knew, but I didn't<em>  
><em>care. I flinched as a Crucio hit me but the scream never came. And then<em>  
><em>suddenly, there was silence. They had left. Dragging my lifeless limbs I tried<em>  
><em>to find Lila.<em>  
><em>"No, she couldn't be dead. She'll be alive. Everything will be fine. She will<em>  
><em>be alive. She won't d-" My thoughts were directed only in one direction: Lila.<em>  
><em>When I couldn't console myself anymore more I cried letting that painful lump<em>  
><em>in my throat take over.<em>  
><em>"L-Laud?" It was her voice, I would know it anywhere. With my weakened body I<em>  
><em>crawled over to her voice.<em>  
><em>Her hair was spread around her head like some dead blossom. Numerous cuts and<em>  
><em>wounds covered her body, the blood had stopped flowing because maybe there was<em>  
><em>nothing to flow now. Tears glazed her eyes which were the only evidence of<em>  
><em>life in that grey face of hers. "It'll be okay. You'll be fine. You'll be<em>  
><em>fine, Lila." I held her hand and tried to make her and myself believe this<em>  
><em>lie.<em>  
><em>She smiled that knowing smile of hers and whispered, <strong>"I love you."<strong> And then_  
><em>she was gone. I felt her leave me as her hand became lax in mine.<em>  
>Laud had now reached her grave. It was a simple grave and a simple tombstone<br>which said simply:

_ Lila_

_ "You'll bloom again."_

"Why? Why? Why could she not live? Why were we not entitled that happiness  
>which everybody had? Why did she have to die? Why couldn't I die along with<br>her? I would disappear just like her favourite flowers had disappeared after  
>her death," Laud thought as tears fell on his lap, silently.<br>Laud got up to leave with the pain in his heart just more amplified. He  
>fingered the knife in his pocket and the idea that had been growing steadily<br>at the back of his mind seemed very logical. "Sorry, everybody but Goodbye,"  
>he said aloud and raised the knife. He stopped with his hand midway in the air<br>as he caught sight of something red. There in the middle of all that snow grew  
>a single Gurdpoppy.<br>Laud bent down, surprised. He remembered something else, a memory which was so  
>small, so insignificant that it had lied dormant in his brain till now. Lila<br>had once said, **_"I think probably kindness is my number one attribute in a_**  
><strong><em>human being. I'll put it before courage or bravery or generosity or anything<em>**  
><strong><em>else. If you are kind, that's it."<em>** Laud put down the knife and thought, "Was I  
>being kind? Was I not going to cause sadness and despair to other people?<br>True, not many people care for me but there are some who do and for them I  
>have to live. I have to protect the people close to me in whatever way I can."<br>And in that instant Laud knew that what he had suffered with Lila's loss, he  
>wouldn't want his near and dear ones to go through the same thing. Laud was<br>smiling now. He looked at the silver knife and heard someone calling out his  
>name from behind, probably Skye or Draco or Blaise. Yes, there were people who<br>would miss him.  
>Getting up he closed it blade and threw it as far as he could. He looked at<br>the tombstone, finally understanding what the letters on it meant. Bending  
>towards it he whispered the reply he never delivered that fateful night, <em><strong>"Me<strong>_  
><em><strong>too."<strong>_


End file.
